So You Wanna Be a Wine Nerd: The Blind Taste

Disclaimer: What I am about to tell you about may make wine less fun for, oh, say, a minute. It will make you doubt yourself. It will possibly make you mad at yourself. But what you can learn will only amplify the fun later. I’m talking about that thing we wine nerds do called blind tasting. It can be a parlor trick but there are other things we do it for. We do it to truly know wine. To assess a vino without predetermined data influencing our judgment. We do it so we can look at a wine list and have a strong idea of what a wine will be like before tasting it. We also do it because some of us have tests to pass. And yes, because it’s a fun way to impress people. I do it because of all these things and because blind tasting is my second favorite game to play with my significant other. My first favorite is Exploding Kittens, which may or may not be a metaphor and may be both. You make the call. I’m going to give you some basic tips on how to organize a tasting and then, with added geek seasoning, give you a rundown of things we tend to assess wine aka “the grid”. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ FIRST A SAFETY WARNING: The first professional tasting I went to started at 11am. I thought, no prob driving there, I will spit! But…100 wines, even if you spit, adds up and I spent a good long time in my car sipping Vitamin Water (my true addiction—can I see a day without booze? Sure. But I love my Vitamin water and Monster drinks. Don’t tell Dionysus) before I was sure I felt good. Encourage folks to use public transit or rideshare. For them, for you, for everyone. Speaking of spitting—my take on spit buckets: I think its good to do for the blind tasting portion. Put a solo cup at everyone’s spot. They can use it or not, but I find if I’m blinding a lot of wines, spitting helps me keep a clear head. Now! For how to put it all together. Step one: Have a structure. Or a couple you mix up. It can be fun to ask everyone to bring one or two wines in paper bags. I would say have a minimum price range but…rather than that, I suggest you just don’t invite the friend who is going to bring two buck chuck, so they can get away with drinking fancy on your dime. This person is not your friend. More because of the fact that they buy two-buck chuck than that they are using you. Priorities. It can also be fun to take turns having one person “captain” the night. They procure the wines and everyone Venmos their previously agreed upon share. Either way you go, having a THEME for the night is great fun. And if you are feeling extra party make some food to match the theme. Suggested themes I’ve taken part in: -Different varieties same country/region/hemisphere -Same grape, different regions (this is getting tricky!) -Same wine, different quality level (this works best if one person is captaining so you don’t end up with 6 bottles of 2-buck chuck) -Wines with some sort of other factor in common--and this is real nerdy--like American oak, any oak at all, lees aging, or straight up aged wine. And if one person is captaining the experience then you can have to guess both the wines and what it is that links them. But that is if you are pretty advanced in your wine knowledge. Wines poured, have a format: Do you all make your notes on your own then discuss? Do you all make notes then one person takes on one wine after which everyone debates? Or do you want to all try and work through the puzzle together? For the most part, I suggest everyone work on their own first, then put their minds together. This gets more honest results. I’m inclined to say whoever is hosting gets to decide. Before I go into the ultra nerdy tasting grid, another important thing: Always have a finisher bottle you can actually just enjoy DRINKING a glass of when you finish the blind tasting part. This is especially nice if you have a miserable night of doing things like calling a Pinotage a Cabernet Franc (guilty). Also, if you have a solid group of players may I suggest a trophy that gets passed around? One of my tasting groups (yes, I have several) has a wine glass that the person with the most correct identifications gets to take home and add decoration to. Eventually our glass is going to need a home of its own, but right now it’s just colorful. Finally, I’ll give you the most basic of things those of us doing, say, the Wine and Spirits Educational Trust or the Court of Master Sommeliers programs are taught to do to evaluate and identify a wine. These are my narrowed down thoughts, not an official reflection of the program. Here are the basic steps to evaluating a wine: -Appearance: Look at color. Red wines get lighter with age and white ones get darker. Look at how thick the tears are. Tears can be indicative of alcohol or sugar level. -Nose: How intense is it? What do you smell? Fruits? Spices? Vegetables? Cork taint? Call it out. -The drink: Look for the acid level (think how quickly and how much you salivate), alcohol level (how much do you feel the burn), for red wines think about tannins (do you feel your gums being dried out?), body, what flavors do you taste (fruits, vegetables, herbs, spice, oak—which can taste like vanilla and baking spice or dill and coconut depending what type is used—flowers, butter…the list goes on. Finally think about the finish. How long does a sip stick with you? This will possibly be indicative of quality. And then after all that try and figure out what the wine is. And don’t feel bad if you don’t! One more suggestion! This is one of a game to help school yourselves on aromas. Have someone infuse many glasses of all the same wine with different fruits, herbs and spices. This is what my class did at our post-test party I dubbed “Wine But For Fun For Once”. We all simply smelled the wines and tried to figure out the added flavor. It was a lot harder than we surmised. But a lot of fun. Which brings me to my last point. You can take wine nerdery to whatever level you like. I think it is good to challenge yourself sometimes--wine is something that CAN engage, enlighten and elevate your senses. But sometimes it can just be for fun. Especially shared. Sharing elevates all. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Want to read more from Ellen? Check out her recent articles: The Cans of Summer 2019 Old World vs. New World Round Seven: Viognier! Summer Cocktails: Sparkling not Spritzing Up Your Life Old World vs. New World Round Six: Syrah! May Day! May Day! Emergency Drinks in Dire Straits Pink Wine, Pink Wine Everywhere Old World vs. New World Round Five: Zinfandel! But Is It Vegan? You can also listen to Ellen's podcast with Shaughn Buchholz, The Wine Situation here .