Carodorum
Selección Especial Toro Tempranillo
So hard for this wine. Duke Nukem retro throwback to 2012, bombs of pepper with an explosion of cherry vanilla smoothness. As the mouth begins to pucker a sudden surprising splash of chalk fills the mouth with complex layers of elation. I am naked, absolute panty dropper. — 7 years ago
Gérard Bertrand
Cote des Roses Languedoc Grenache Rosé Blend 2020
Some say Rosè is for pussies. Now, I would never say that, but some people do. All I know is that this wine gave me extended length, width and girth so who’s laughing now! — 4 years ago
7 Moons
California Red Blend
If I was a vampire, I imagine getting drunk on the blood of my victims, and tasting the sensuous flavor burst of this brilliant red blend. Deep purple, with a peppery chocolate cherry. The victim was definitely a smoker, aged in wood. I Vant you to Vant me, and this wine does. — 5 years ago
Prinz von Hessen (Landgräflich Hessiches Weingut)
Winkeler Hasensprung Kabinett feinherb Riesling 2012
This wine is like a golden shower of soft stoned fruit, cantaloupe, and lemon, trickling upon your naked body with a baby oil viscosity, as you frolic through a flowery field pillow fighting all the wildlife, winning, and claiming this new territory as your own. — 7 years ago
Predator
Lodi Old Vine Zinfandel 2018
This Zinfandel from Predator makes me feel like I’m on a stroll through Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, stalked by flavors of tobacco, jam, cherry, spice, and everything nice. Umpa Lumpa’s chanting songs of intoxication and merriment lull me into bliss. This Zinfandel is the golden ticket. — 5 years ago
Maculan
Cabernet 2014
Jalapeño under tones, wine over tones! — 8 years ago
Matt Finelli
The desiccated pruniness of this voluptuous Zinfandel could turn a retirement home into a college dorm. Take a genial sip and you will instantly cure your erectile dysfunction, even if you identify as a woman, you’re a man tonight — 4 years ago